Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
