It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
