she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
