A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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