He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
