I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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