she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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