this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so let's talk penis.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
