Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
