the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
