That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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