They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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