I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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