Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
