hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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