That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
