I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
there's paper in my vomit.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
