Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
