big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
