So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
