Operation Purity has been aborted
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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