sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We left the knife in your bed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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