His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
