Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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