no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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