I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
