True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
