There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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