Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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