Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I love you.
Bad choice
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
