He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
