Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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