Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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