I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize