Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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