Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
