I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
