Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
