Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize