Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
