For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
