apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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