ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
