try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
