3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
