I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
