what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
