You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
