How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
