we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
