I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize