you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
