one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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