THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i now understand why vodka
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
