dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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