I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dignity is for republicans.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
