If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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