As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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