Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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