week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize