You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize