You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
