Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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