she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
