I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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