i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
