Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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