I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
