You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
