Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
