Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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