question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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