I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
