very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
