seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize