dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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